Pent Up Feelings
by skydarius11
Summary: Steven has a lot of thoughts going on in his mind and finally tells the gems. Takes place a few days after Joy Ride.


It was another peaceful day in Beach City. Well…as peaceful as you can get considering there were still plenty of green alien ship parts strewn about the city.

The Crystal Gems were working hard to erase any evidence that this city could've been another battlefield written in the annals of gem history. But the youngest gem was at home, chillin' on Lion in the living room. After events with Sour Cream, Buck Dewey, and Jenny, Garnet decided that Steven earned some time to just "be a kid" as the sunglass teenager so eloquently put it.

But it's hard to be a normal kid after everything that's happened to him. Getting kidnapped and knocked out by super strong gems, watching your dad nearly lose his mind over your safety, seeing a new friend drag herself into the ocean, and then on top of all that having the strong feeling of subtle hatred toward you from your own family. These thoughts were going around Steven's mind as he petted Lion's mane. He sighed. "I wish I had a cookie cat right now…" he said.

He looked up at his mom's portrait then back at Lion. Then he remembered what his mom said in the video, "_I need you to know that every moment you love being yourself, that's me! Loving you and loving be you"_ "I know they miss you, but if you could love me before you even met me, then why?"

His thoughts were interrupted when the door to his room opened up, revealing Garnet, Amethyst and Peal all sand covered and exhausted.

Lion didn't stir but Steven looked over and said, "Hey guys, how ya doin?" "Man, I'm beat" said Amethyst as she plopped onto the couch.

"Amethyst! You're getting sand all over the couch" scolded Peal as she finished dusting herself off. But Amethyst just brushed her off. "So, how much stuff is left? Is there anything you need me to do?" Steven asked. "No, we just have a little bit left. There nothing to worry about" replied Garnet as she took a seat next to Amethyst, and Pearl sat next to her. "Oh…ok" It doesn't take future vision to know that something was wrong.

"Steven, is something wrong?" Pearl gently asked. Steven looked by at Lion for some backup, but he merely flicked his ears and continued snoozing. "Will you guys promise you won't get mad?" he asked. That caused Amethyst to perk up, and Garnet said, "Of course we won't Steven. That human Sour Cream said you had a lot on your mind, so let it out."

He took a deep breath and asked "Do…do you guys hate me?"

Someone would need a super-hot knife to cut through the tension in the house. Pearl was the first one to get off the couch and crouch down in front of him. "Steven, of course we don't hate you! Why would think that?"

With moisture in his eyes he said, "Well…when you ran away after we found mom's sword and I tried to jump after you onto that big rock, you gave me such an angry look like you were silently blaming me for mom being gone." Pearl had no comeback for that. That fleeting thought did cross her mind, but she didn't realize she projected it out.

"And Amethyst" She squirmed in her seat now that the spotlight was on her. "Before you turned into mom in front of dad, you said that you "always had someone who was there for me before she started hanging out with you" err…dad." Amethyst rubbed the back of her head and looked to the ground.

"I mean, I know I don't know how to use my powers yet but isn't that ok? I'm trying my best!" His voice was rising now. All that pent up frustration was bubbling out.

"I know that mom was happy to have me and wanted me to be here! So why do you guys blame me for something she wanted to do?!" When Steven yelled, it was like the world stopped. This wasn't like the happy go-lucky kid they knew. It's only now they realize how much their actions affected him.

"Do you want me to die if that meant bringing my mom back?! Because if that's the case I'll do it right now!" Before anyone could react Steven ran back to Lion and grabbed his mother's sword out of his mane and held it over his heart. "STEVEN NO!" shouted Amethyst and Pearl.

Before he could do anything Garnet and Lion grabbed the sword by the sharp end and Garnet wrestled it away from both of them and threw it to the other side of the room.

The normally stoic gem had tears streaming down from underneath her shades. She grabbed Steven by the shoulders and said, "Don't you EVER do that again!" She needed a moment; Pearl and Amethyst also walked over with tears in their eyes as well. Steven was still pretty upset.

Then Garnet said, "Steven, believe me when I say that we would never want anything to hurt you. I'm sorry you felt that way for so long. We know that you're not Rose…but sometimes we're not strong enough to see that. We let our grief blind us and in turn project it onto you or your father as blame. Please forgive us when that happens." Pearl and Amethyst came over and knelt down in front of Steven and held their heads down in shame.

"And you're right" Garnet continued. "Rose was thrilled when she knew she was going to give birth to you. You're not just a hybrid gem/human, you're a blessing to us. You've given us new memories to cherish and more fun than we've had in a long time. Like Steven Tag, playing in your band, playing mini golf, watching that Lonely Blade movie or seeing you fuse with Connie."

Steven chuckled a little, remembering all of the fun times they had. "You're such a loving person, Steven. And sometimes we take that for granted. But please remember, that no matter what it looks like on the outside, we will always love you. Not just because you're Rose's son, but because you're our son as well. We're a family, and we believe in you Steven."

Pearl and Amethyst nodded in agreement, they were never really good at expressing themselves in emotional situations like this so they were grateful that Garnet could talk for them.

At that point, Steven's worries melted away and all that remained was his signature smile, albeit with some tears streaming down his cheeks. He brought them all into a group hug, even Lion joined in by nuzzling him from behind.

They stayed like that for a while and Steven broke the embrace. "Thanks you guys, you guys are the best and I'm glad I'm a part of this family." "Oh Steven" said a blushing, teary eyed Pearl.

"Hey Amethyst, wanna go get some donuts?" he asked. "Heh, you know it Stu-man!" she said as she ruffled his hair. He laughed and said, "C'mon Lion. I'll get you some Lion Lickers. Even if they are gross…" They exited the house, leaving Pearl and Garnet behind.

Pearl clutched Garnet's arm and leaned into her. "I never want to see him like that ever again. Rose had her own light, but Steven's is unique and shouldn't be snuffed out" said Garnet. They both looked up at Rose's portrait. "This is why she was so excited for us to meet him…I can't believe I ever resented her or Steven" said Pearl as more of her tears fell onto Garnet's shoulder pads. "Anger is a neutral emotion, so it can be used for good or bad. So whenever we feel this way…let motivate ourselves not to attack him, the most self-less and loving gift anyone could ever ask for" vowed Garnet and Pearl nodded in agreement.

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Hey guys! Just a little one shot. I hope you enjoy it and not too bad from a first time writer. Please review, anything helps, Thanks!


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